Taking Chances
by potions mistress kate
Summary: How could he drag her into his mess? How could he let her get hurt.Why did he allow himself to take a second chance at the one thing he had chosen to deny himself.
1. Chapter 1

He swilled the razor in the warm water that sat unmoving in the bathroom sink. Snape repeatedly slid it across his cheeks and removed the short hair that had appeared there over the weekend. It did not suit him, facial hair. Made him look even older than he already felt he did. It was the ninth of January. His thirty fourth birthday. Most years he refused to acknowledge the day simply because it was just a birthday, another number. He had received the same thing he always received on his birthday. A bottle of the best firewhiskey from Albus, and a pint of beer in the pub that night. That was all to come as it was only the morning. Luckily the students would not return from their Christmas holidays until the next week. This meant that Severus Snape could spend his week preparing his lesson plans for their return.

Time passed. Nothing much changed other than Harry potter's arrogance and consistent disobeying of the rules further increased. Now four months after his birthday Severus Snape found himself sat on a bed in the hospital wing his own blood on his hands.

'What on earth have you done now Severus?' Poppy asked him with her eyebrows raised.

'An incident with a werewolf and a large black dog,' he replied.

'Hmmm well I need to see to mister Weasley over there so Kate shall look after you.' Poppy said and walked away. Severus knew that she meant the new healer that they had employed. He did not care why. He did not care to the extent that he could not have told you her first name if Poppy had not just mentioned then.

Severus sat for another couple of minutes as he waited for the other healer. He was looking at his shoes when she did arrive, noticing how dirty they were. He saw her own shoes before his. She wore boots like him, but hers had pointed toes a small thin heel to them.

'Sorry to keep you waiting professor,' she said and placed a small white bucket on the bed next to him. 'How are we going to go about this then with you all tightly wrapped up as you are?'

'Excuse me?' Snape said raising his eyebrows to show his authority over the young woman.

'Your coat and shirt, I need them off if I am to treat you,' she said pointedly.

'No,' Snape stood and found that he did not tower over her as he had expected to. 'The shirt stays on.'

'Fine but at least take off the coat,' she said a little more warmly. Severus breathed deeply and began undoing the buttons of his coat. The pain against his chest was not revealed through his face although he was certainly feeling it. Once the coat was off he sat back down on the edge of the bed. The healer stepped closer and before Snape realised quite what she was doing he found her hands on his chest gripping his shirt and pulling it very sharply. The material began to rip as she pulled it further along.

'What in god's name are you doing woman?' Snape said loudly standing up as tall as he could before her.

'You won't take it off so I will have to rip to get to the wound Professor,' she said calmly but through clearly gritted teeth.

'THAT HURT!' Snape shouted.

'What do you want? An apology?' she looked him straight in the eye and waited for a reply. It never came, 'Good because you wouldn't be getting one anyway. Now sit down and let me have a look,'

Snape did as he was told for once and resumed his seat on the bed. The healer began to clean the wound that subsequently stung fiercely. Snape had to work hard not to shout at her again.

'I am sure you have more than that one shirt anyway,' she said and smirked to herself.

'That is not the point,' Snape muttered.

He watched the young woman's face as she concentrated on what she was doing. Before he realised she was done and he was bandaged up.

'Done, now if you have any problems, build up of fluids and such, come back and tell us please,' she said taking off the thin gloves she had on and through them in the white bucket.

'Yes,' Snape stood and put his coat back on taking care not to miss a button.

'It's Professor Snape, yes?' she asked quietly.

'Yes,' he replied but did not dare meet her eyes again. Before she had finished gathering her things up the professor had left without a further word.


	2. Teenage Novella

You can't hurry love - Chapter Two

Sometimes Kate wondered why she had accepted Albus' job offer. It was not that did not enjoy the work or the place; she had made friends, good friends as a matter of fact in those few months. She had very little freedom under Poppy Pomfrey. The older medi-witch had turned out to be a bit of a slave driver it seemed. Demands rather than requests or asking for help was her way of working. But then again it was better than working in some crazy hospital somewhere. A walk was in order.

Although it was the meant to be the summer the breeze still had a chill to it and a jumper was acceptable seen as though it was dusk. On returning from her walk Kate decided to go to the library and find some new reading material having read all the books she had brought with her at the beginning of the school year.

'Hello Kate dear, how are you?' Irma asked as she entered the library.

'Hi, I'm well how are you?' she replied.

'Never better dear, can I help you with something,'

'Yes actually, something mindless to read would be great' Kate smiled.

'Of course, next to the restricted section you'll find all the fiction and such.' Irma smiled at the young woman.

'Thank you,'

Kate walked across the expansive study space filled with tables and sofas around the edge where a few students were found chatting quietly or writing on a large roll of parchment with books spread all about them. Books that were old had always appealed for some reason, the musty spell of age and antiquity. There was nothing like the smell of an old book that was bound in dark leather or cloth. On the very rare occasion you might even come across a one bound in thick rich velvet that was usually very old and very delicate and hence found in the restricted section for its own conservation. But now was not the time for velvet bound. Now was the time for something brainless that she could lose herself in, if only for a couple of hours.

She could see him across the study tables flicking through a small book rather quickly. So quickly in fact that the turned page did not lay flat before the next one met it. For some reason a slight smile appeared on Kate's face as she watched him vigorously turning the pages of his book. Suddenly he turned and began walking towards her quickly and with authority. Kate immediately began to move herself, off down one of the aisles of books. Kate ignored the fact that Snape came down the same aisle as her and looked deeply into a book she had no interest in.

'You do not have to pretend that you have not seen me,' Snape said coolly.

'I was not pretending anything of the sort Professor,' Kate said. Snape walked over to her and took the book from her hands and looked over it with that he placed it back in her hands and sighed.

'I would not take you for a reader of romantic teenage novels that are so badly written they should never have been published in the first place.' He drawled, his deep voice ringing with sarcasm. Kate immediately put the book back on the shelf.

'I'm sorry I tore your shirt.' She said avoiding his eyes.

'Apology accepted. But I think we should start again it was hardly an acceptable first conversation now was it?' Snape said lightly but with little emotion.

'Yes,'

'It's a pleasure to meet you miss..."

'McConnell,'

'Miss McConnell, I apologise for not having introduced myself sooner,'

'That's quite alright Professor Snape,' she smiled weakly. 'I should be going now,' with that Kate began to walk away quite taken aback by Snape's forwardness.

It was odd to think that he was trying to be personable towards her but Severus Snape felt that rumbling ache deep in his chest whenever he looked at her. This young woman, with dark hair and pale blue eyes that held a certain sadness to them. He had promised himself that he would not ruin another's life with his own mistakes. He had made his bed and he would just have to lie in it, albeit alone. He could deny that she was very striking and although she had tore open his shirt he did not care because to look upon her face seemed to give him the feeling that she could see him regardless.

No. He would leave her alone. That was all there was to it. He would not hurt her or damage her in anyway.

That night was no different to any other. Snape ate dinner in the great along with everyone else and then returned to the dungeon where there was marking to be done. Dinner sat uncomfortably that night, feeling like it had exploded in his stomach, like it would not settle down. Nevertheless he pushed on with his marking until a faint knock was heard upon the heavy oak door.

'Enter' he said cautiously but loud enough so that whoever was on the other side of the door would hear him. The door opened and Kate stepped in quietly her shoes making that clicking noise on the floor. She gently closed the door heavy door behind her and began to walk towards his desk. He put his quill down and watched. Severus Snape felt no need to be completely detached, that had become obvious after their meeting in the library earlier that day.

'Miss McConnell, how can I help you?' he offered her the chair on the other side of the desk. She declined.

'I just brought you this,' she said and handed him a rolled up piece of parchment, 'A list of what we need renewing in our stores. If you need it I can help you brew them there's rather a lot that we need,'

'No bother, but maybe a little assistance wouldn't go amiss,' he said rolling the parchment back up. 'Shall we begin brewing tomorrow?'

'Yes, that would be good the sooner we're restocked the better,'

'Precisely,' he said and stood up. There was an awkward silence that descended upon them as he came round to her side of the desk.

'I knew you had more than one shirt,' she smiled at him. The sadness in her eyes that he had seen earlier disappeared as she smiled. Snape felt the corners of his mouth curve in the same manner.

'One of many I assure you,' he said softly. Neither realised how close together were stood it was only when Snape began to raise his hand and found it met with hers did she step away from him. 'I'm sorry,' he muttered. She shook her head gently, but enough for him to see.

'I'll come by tomorrow after dinner if that's alright with you?'

'Yes that will be fine,' with that Snape took his seat behind his desk again and picked up his quill. Although Kate knew she should leave she did not immediately but watched him for a moment as he began to write again.

As soon as the door had closed Snape smashed his hand with his quill in on his desk and accidently smashed the ink bottle next to him. The glass cut the back of his hand and blood began to seep out mixing with the black ink from the bottle. He rushed over to the sink in the adjacent classroom and cleaned it thoroughly with the mentholated spirits before bandaging it and giving in to his bed for an early night.


	3. With broken glass results confusion

You can't hurry love- chapter three

Dinner was awkward as Albus questioned Snape on what his evening was to entail. When the headmaster discovered that Snape was to spend the best part of the evening brewing potions with Kate he started hinting at things that had very little value to Severus Snape.

Snape sat on one of the work benches and waited for her to arrive, wondering how long she would be. Only two minutes prior had he returned from dinner and was probably being paranoid in feeling like it had been an hour. This was ridiculous he thought to himself as he unrolled the list she had given him and began to gather the materials and ingredients they needed.

'Hello' she said loudly so he would hear her over the clattering of glass jars.

'Shit' he said as he dropped a jar of what looked like sand but was not. The glass shattered instantly and the contents of the jar spread everywhere.

'I'm so sorry,' she said and rushed over to help him start cleaning it up.

'It was not your fault I didn't have hold of it properly.' He said as they swept up the glass and its contents.

'Your hand,' she said indicating the bandage wrapped around it. 'What happened?'

'It's nothing, don't worry about it,' he said and crouched down to continue cleaning. She knelt next to him and took the cleaning things off him. He watched as she placed them on the floor and returned to him. To his surprise she took hold of his hand and started to un-bandage it. 'You should have come and seen me last night I could have fixed this in a second' she said and reached inside the pocket on her dress. She dripped a few drops of a clear liquid onto the deep cut and watched it heal as though nothing had ever been there.

'Thank you,' Snape said his hand still in hers. 'Why are you being so kind to me?' surprising even himself by the question.

'Why shouldn't I?' she asked in return.

'You don't know me'

'No I don't' she smiled and stood up.

For the next hour they worked in almost silence on benches adjacent to one another.

The next two evenings were much the same as the pair sat and brewed countless quantities of potions for the hospital wing. Not much was said but it did not need to be as the two of them unconsciously shared what they needed to.

'Could you pass me a few vials for this potion please?' Kate asked and she continued stirred and turned the heat down on her cauldron. Snape did as she requested and walked until he stood right behind her. She was seated when he placed them on the table next to her hand. 'Thank you,' she whispered and shifted slightly as she felt the heat from him touch the back of her neck. Snape breathed deeply as her fingers touched his to retrieve the vial. Her hands shook as she attempted to ladle it into the small glass object. Snape reached and steadied her hand by placing his own hand around her delicate wrist.

'Miss McConnell...' he said unable to finish what he was saying.

'My name is Kate...'

'Kate I don't want to ruin...' he said but she interrupted him.

'It's alright, go as slow as you like,' she said quietly leaning back slightly against him. With this he moved forward and her head found his shoulder. Her hair touched his face and the smell made him smile to himself.

'If I'm to use your first name, will you use mine please?'

'Yes Severus, I will,' she took hold of his warm hand and squeezed it gently.

'I did not expect this,' he said.

'Me neither, if it's not what you want then I will leave,'

'No, I mean yes, I do want it... I have not felt this way for a very, very long time,' he said into her hair.

Kate stood up their hands still holding one another. She looked him directly in the eyes and smiled the sweetest smile he had ever born witness to.

'I'm worried I will hurt you,' he said moving his hand so that he held hers now.

'No, don't think like that. I know there is a lot more to you that I can see right now Severus but nothing is so bad that I would leave.'

'Yes it is,' he said. Kate frowned and scanned his face for some clue as to what he meant. 'I have a past I am most ashamed and disgusted by and you should not be dragged into it. I did not believe I could the way you make me do ever again because I ruined everything the first time. There's no reason why I won't ruin it all over again.'

'Severus...'

'I was a death eater... is that bad enough to make you never want to look at me again?' he questioned loudly as her face changed from confusion to horror. She let go of his hand. 'Please leave,'

'Severus we should ta...'

'No... Leave,' he said and turned away from her. Kate could not move. 'GET OUT!' he shouted. He heard her run out of the door and slam it shut as hard and fast as she could.

Kate stood against the wall of the corridor of the dungeon and felt her face get hot with the tears that appeared in her eyes.


	4. Longing

They did not speak again. Not for a long time. Not until Halloween of the same year. Severus avoided her and Kate avoided him. She did not know what she could say to him other than ask him to explain why. The Triwizard Tournament was taking up more of Kate's time than first anticipated. They rarely even saw one another about the castle other than at meal times.

Halloween had been just like any other. A feast in the great hall and the students were allowed to stay up later than usual. Kate was asked to help with the hall patrol along with some of the other staff. On some occasions the party atmosphere got some heads and students were found lurking the corridors trying to scare one another.

She wandered lazily through one of the three courtyards of the castle stared up at the stars in the clear and completely cloudless sky.

'Good evening,' a dark voice said.

'My god, you scared me,' she said catching her breath as she looked up at the tall dark wizard.

'Kate McConnell, am I correct?' he held out his hand.

'Yes, Igor Karkaroff,' she said. They shook hands and began talking politely.

'Have long have you been the healer at this fine school miss McConnell?'

'Just over a year now, are you enjoying your stay?' she asked politely.

'Oh yes, it just got better I think,' he said and smirked. Kate looked wary. 'will you be attending the Yule ball?'

'Umm yes, most likely,'

'It would be to your benefit Miss McConnell if you consented to attend the evening with me.' He said slyly.

'I don't think so,' she said and began to walk away. It was at this point that Snape rounded the corner of the covered area of the courtyard and saw the two people conversing. It was clear something was wrong when Karkaroff began to walk after her.

'I think you will do as I ask!' he said through gritted teeth grabbing tight hold of her arm.

'Ahh,' she said both from the shock of him going after her and his grip. 'Get off me,' she shouted trying to push him off. A red light hit the snow next to them and sprayed it into the air.

'Miss McConnell is everything alright?' Snape said lazily as he walked over concealing his wand again.

'Yes, thank you professor,' she said and turned around to walk off. Snape remained and looked at Karkaroff with raised eye brows. The slightly taller of the two men frowned and stormed off angry that Snape had stopped him succeeding in his endeavour.

Snape immediately set off after Kate and after a brisk walk found her trying to open the wards on her chambers door. She was shaking partially from the cold but mainly from the shock of the event that had just transpired.

'Kate?' he asked as he walked over to her.

'Go away,' she said trying not to cry. She dropped her wand and knelt down to pick it up. Her control gave out and she sobbed into her hands, her wand on the floor before her. Snape knelt down next to her and picked up her wand. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

'Did he hurt you?' he asked gently.

'No,' she sniffed. 'Just scared me'

'Yes, it would.' Snape said. 'I'm sorry I was so impolite to you. I am sorry I have not spoken to you for so long. I did not know what to say. This has taken me by surprise. You have suddenly appeared before me and confused everything that I was so sure about'

'I understand,'

'It was immature not to talk to you sooner, but I could not find the right words, even now they don't sound right.'

'Don't go,' she said.

'Why would I?'

'I mean don't go, stay here with me. Well inside.' She said wiping her face with the back of her hand.

'Here' Snape said reaching into his trouser pocket and pulling out a dark green handkerchief with his initials embroidered on the corner.

'Thank you,' she said.

'I will stay,' he said as he lifted her to her feet.

She was still in his arms as he let his hands slide down her arms in order to reach her hands. He looked into her reddened face her eyes puffy and pink from her tears. Snape gently wiped his thumb across her cheek gathered up the last of her tears.

Kate let go of his hand and unlocked the door to her private rooms. The whole time she knew he did not take his eyes of her. Not once. It was not strange, it was just that he could not take her all in at one glance. Once they were inside Kate took off her shoes and nearly fell over still being shaky from the incident just ten minutes previously. Severus caught her and set her right on her feet again.

'Sorry' she smiled. 'I think I am having a clumsy day'

'Everyone has days like that,' he replied.

'Thank you Severus... for stopping him.' Kate said. She held out his handkerchief to him.

'You don't need to thank me... keep it.' He said.

'It's yours,'

'I want you to have it,' he said. Kate smiled at him and put it in her pocket. 'Why did you ask me in?'

'I don't know,' she smiled and took hold of his hand.

Severus held her hand back and smiled as much as he could without feeling like a total fool. He moved nervously closer to her and brushed her long hair back over her shoulder.

'This will sound completely crazy because we do not know each other well, but I feel as though I want to be in an... how shall I put this...'

'Just say it,' she smiled.

'I want to be in an... intimate relationship with you... beautiful girl,' he muttered the latter two parts of his sentence in the hope that she would not hear him. Of course she did hear him, every word.

'I know you do,' she said.

'How?"

'I can tell... in the way you look at me, it's very obvious Severus,' she said and squeezed his hand. Severus could feel his face getting hotter as she watched him. His head fell and his eyes found the floor as his embarrassment and nerves overwhelmed him. She ran her fingers through his hair as stared at the floor. 'you know, I think you are really very shy aren't you? In some respects anyway. With me I think you are. You don't have to be stern with me. You can just relax. I would like you to relax.'

Severus looked at her and saw in her eyes something he had never seen before. Something he had never seen in Lily's eyes. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She put one finger under his chin and lifted his head so they were looking directly at one another.

'Close your eyes Severus,' she said seductively. He did as he was told and breathed slowly and deeply. He felt her hand on his shoulder and the fingers of her other hand skim gently down his cheek. Before he realised what she was going to do next he felt her soft, warm lips upon his own. He tried to kiss her back but could not do it as well as he wanted to. She pulled away.

'Thank you,'

'No thank you's, you can kiss me whenever you like.' She said.


End file.
